“Knowledge has no power, unless you decide to use it.” ~Me
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I Thought it Was Just Me (But it isn’t)
By: Brene Brown
Are you stuck in shame? Do you feel like your mistakes and imperfections make you less worthy of a person? This is the book for you! Brene Brown is a shame researcher and this book does a wonderful job discussing what shame is, and how to get out of it. Hint: vulnerability=connection.
What Can I Do About Me?
By: Rhyll Anne Croshaw
Are you in a relationship where your partner has acted out sexually or had a pornography addiction? This book is an excellent read to understand what YOU can do to heal. Hint: It isn’t wait for him to change for things to be better.
Moving Beyond Betrayal
By: Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW, CSAT
Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries. What are they, why do you need them, how to set them. If you are a partner of a sex addict (or any addict) this is a must read for you!
Worthy of Her Trust
By: Stephen Arterburn & Jason B. Martinkus
Recommended for both partners in a relationship where betrayal has happened. Not only will you understand what your partner needs in order to repair trust, but why it is needed. (This does have a religious tone to it, but if you aren’t religious, I still think this would benefit you).
Treating Trauma for Sexual Betrayal
By: Dr. Kevin Skinner, LMFT, CSAT-S
This book is amazing for anyone who wants to understand betrayal trauma. Disclaimer: it can be heavy and triggering for those in the early stages of healing so practice self care and know your limits if it is too much for you.
Men, Women, and Worthiness
By: Brene Brown
This 2 hours listen on Audible is SO worth it. Dig into how men and women experience shame and how to recognize/ combat it. I have listened to it many times and everything I love it even more.
Loving What Is
By: Byron Katie
The ultimate thought switch book! Every get angry with others situations because of how you THINK it SHOULD be? READ/ LISTEN to this book! I don’t often recommend listening to books because I am old school and love having a book in my hand. BUT…. Byron Katie has a voice that is comforting and soothing that actually helped me accept the thought switches even more. This is not betrayal trauma related.. this is just LIFE changing.
Fierce Intimacy
By: Terry Real
ANYONE IN A RELATIONSHIP THIS IS FOR YOU! I can’t talk this up enough. Learn how to connect with your spouse by recognizing how your stuff gets in the way, and learn to understand your partner better as they struggle with the same “wounded child” reactions. Truly… every couple would benefit from this one.
Trauma Bonding
By: Dr. Annely Alexander
Trigger warning!!!! This book goes into detail about different abusive relationships that can be very triggering so be warned. However, I think this book is excellent at teaching the reader what exactly a trauma bond is, which is what makes is so difficult to leave a relationship when it is abusive, and how you can heal from it. (Not a substitute for professional help).
Set Boundaries, Find Peace
By: Nedra Glover Tawwab
NOT betrayal trauma specific. This book is great for anyone who wants to learn more about boundaries, what they look like, why they are important, and even what they sound like in different situations. Nedra also has amazing content on instagram at @nedratawwab if you are interested as well.
Workbook available HERE
The Body Keeps the Score
By: Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
Want to know the scientific explanation for trauma and trauma responses? This is the book for you. Once you understand WHY your body responds the way it does, it can help you recognize when you are in trauma, and you can help yourself deescalate. If you are like me and like the science behind the brain, this is a must read.
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